Early 2005 -- First Encounters with Occult basically.
I was working under Usurper97 at a greenhouse when I met an interesting person. This guy was kind of a "goofy stoner" always laughing missing things, like: "Did you do the thing?" and he'd just go "Uhhhhh" crack a huge smile and say something like 'I uh forgot" and start laughing. Well this guy was a "Mage". OMG if I tell you all the details like this, this story will be a novel. Ok, well "Stan" we'll call him, told me a story of how he discovered he was a Mage. He told me he knew, because "his hands were smoking". His story was unbelievable to most people but luckly I actually had the same experience a few years before when I was a rapper.
I can't remember the year musta been 2000-2004 or so, I had produced 2 rap albums, with Apokalypz and Ethikz, Apok was the real deal, very good friend of mine. I had been staying with him like a giant rapper sleep over party, producing beats 24 hours straight, laying tracks, working non stop, never video games. This lifestyle had me done with hassle girlfriends driving me nuts, I can't even remember who it was, but it was someone I dated for like 3 years who was like betraying me or something to try to get me back kinda thing... Anyways it was the day that I 'let her go' I let go of all that stress, it was over. I had plenty enough to keep my mind from idling, friends, equipment, skills, I figured I could finally focus on what I was good at; music. So this epic feeling of relief happened when me and Apok were chillin after I told her on the phone and it was done. I felt like I was glowing. I remember imagining like an aura around a tree outside and thinking we were all connected, I even feared the whole universe was gonna turn aura like and I was gonna trip out or something. I remember all that so good for some reason. So after that, I thought I seen a wiggle of smoke like not far infront of my nose, and I kinda freaked again, thinking there was a heater on my lap or something I missed, some fire in my lap... but there was nothing. So I'm looking at my hands and I see this smoke... like a candle that was blown out will stream a line above it of smoke, kinda like that but there was a bulb of it around the last piece of each finger and thumb. It's funny cause I actually forgot about this for a long time after, it was this phenomenal moment that's about to happen, and maybe from adrenalyn or something I crazy brainwash forgot about it somehow. Well this is what happened.
So Apok was working a pc or something not paying attention to me, so after like staring at it for 30 seconds to ensure that it IS there, I asked him in a way that kinda implied I had something written on my skin faintly; "do you see anything on my hands?" and i held my hands out.
He said "Dude, your hands are smoking."
That moment was one of the first "Phenomenal Moments" of my life. Where, shit they don't teach you in school happens. Where "crazy Sh*t" happened. Oddly enough, as aforesaid, it was forgotten for months. So now when something unbelievable happens, I write it down, just incase that sneaky mindwipe happens again. ;)
Stan said when he seen his hands smoking, we immediately went to google and found something that said "If your hands smoke that means you are a Mage" I couldn't stop laughing when he told me, but what do I know, or "Who knows?"
Ok so Stan the Wiccan man started playing poker at my place on weekends and had his friends come and they started attesting to parties where Stan was doing his own Magick thing while they were all watching TV and I dunno what he did but they all saw a energy ball form in the floor and jumped back toppling the couch backwards. When I knew they were not yanking my chain I decided to delve into Stans understanding of this Magick stuff.
He showed me how he uses chants and candles or whatever the spell he found online says it needs. He doesn't understand any of it, just knows for this do that, as the internet said. But it always worked for him. When I finally checked his materials, I was blown away, I woulda started laughing but didn't want to offend him or anything. Most of it looked like it was written by little kids. Funny little angsty children. The worst rhymes I ever seen. Basically I thought, there is no way I would say any of that, I would be embarassed to God, angels, demons, dem aliens entities, whatever is out there. Personally I don't even think of them like angles and demons, I think of everything simply as unidentified life.
So I got Stan to bring his spells over, and he showed me how to change the color of my eyes. This is all before I Youtubed but I was a philosopher artist, trying to figure everything out, then recording original songs everyday about what I've learned. So he had a rhyme and a red candle "cause you need the candle to be the color you want it to change to" he did it all tickety boo. So I wanted a mirror for when I did it, and yeah I was totally skeptical of him and stuff, well not of HIM, I knew he believed what he was saying/doing, but I wasn't sure if some sort of hypnosis was happening... I am merely reporting my observations now to avoid all imaginations.
So I went into the bathroom for use of a mirror, and just Willed my eyes white. It took only like 2 seconds for it to start, like a milk flowing over all the darker parts of the eye. I freaked right out! I didn't know exactly what was happening, I didn't know if I could undo it after a certain point, I didn't know if it was another life form or apathy like death happening, anyways it was scary as shit, but never did effect my vision, I only got 2/3rds done before I was like "No no no no no" rubbing my eyes, it was confirmed that I could do basically what I intended to do, but I wasn't ready to take the risk of something so unknown at the time. Also I didn't really have an exit strategy, a dispel concept, almost like I didn't really even take a mental snapshot of my eyes to later restore them, to will them back.
All of this was most intriguing. Magick was real. It wasn't limited to spells that work, or magickal items you can obtain... it was, whatever you Will. Like your Will to live is what magickally makes you breathe, unconsciously. Your unconscious will is what forms tomorrow, dictates fate, as far as your Beliefs will allow.
Also when talking about placebos let it be known that the is infact a placebo effect with the mind as science statistics has shown us. This can be used to our advantage, by enhancing probability of things when in effect. There is so much causality, in fact there is no Random in the universe. So everything you do has great effect on the proceeding of the universe. So with that in mind, when you set out to try and Cause Change, you can know that even the mere act of following that choice has already caused great effect on the framework of the Matrix.
~ d74g0n
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